Funny 40th Birthday Jokes

40th Birthday Jokes

Are you feeling a little down about turning 40 and need to look at it’s funny side? Or maybe you know someone who’s going to be celebrating their 40th birthday soon and you want a few good jokes to poke a little good-natured fun at them? If so, then these 40th birthday jokes are just what you need!

Funny 40th Birthday Jokes

I may by 40, but I feel like a 20 year old every morning when I wake up. Unfortunately, there’s never one around!

The great thing about turning 40 is that now all your favourite movies are re-released in colour.

You know you’re 40 when the only weight lifting exercise you do is standing up.

This couple haven’t been getting along for years – they’ve been rowing and arguing a lot. And the wife’s 40th birthday is approaching, so the husband thinks, “I’ll show here how much she’s annoying me, I’ll buy her a cemetery plot for her birthday.” You can, of course, picture the wife’s disappointment on the big day when her husband gives the present to her. Anyway, the next year, when her birthday comes around, they’ve still not been getting on and this time the husband doesn’t buy her any present at all. The wife is upset and angry and asks him, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present?” The husband says, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”

Confucius says, “Old age is like underwear. It creeps up on you when you least expect it.”

I went to the doctors and told him I got heartburn when I ate my 40th birthday cake. He said, “Next time, take the candles off.”

The best years of a woman’s life are the ten years between 39 and 40.

I bought my husband a dictionary for his 40th birthday. He didn’t seem too pleased, so I asked him if he liked it. He said, “Yes of course, I just can’t find the words to thank you.”

It was our boss’ 40th birthday in work so we clubbed together to buy him a surprise present. We gave it to him all nicely wrapped up and before he opened it he shook it and then he noticed it was wet in one corner. He touched the wet spot with his finger and then licked it to taste it as he asked, “A bottle of wine?” We said it wasn’t a bottle of wine, so he touched the wet spot with his finger and tasted it again and asked, “A bottle of whiskey?” We said it wasn’t a bottle of whiskey, so he said, “I give up then, what is it?” We said, “A puppy.”

Inside every 40 year old body is a 20 year old wondering what happened.

Did you ever notice that the Roman numerals for 40 are XL?

Four hours of sleep at age 21 – “I’m ready to party again!” Four hours of sleep at age 40 – “Say one thing to me and I’ll slap your face!”

40 is when your body gives your brain a list of things it’s not going to do any more.

Now that I’m 40 I take life with a pinch of salt. Plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila…

40th Birthday Jokes

We hope you enjoyed this collection of 40th birthday jokes.